Every year we tell ourselves that we are going to make drastic changes in our lifestyles, in our actions, even in our mindset. We use resolutions to establish things we dislike about ourselves and make a public statement about how we plan to change these things in the coming year.
But these resolutions rarely seem to last. According to multiple studies by psychology professor John Norcross from the University of Scranton, while 40% of Americans set resolutions, only about 40% of them will be successful after six months.
The common recommendations to achieve success with resolutions include making it something that is actually attainable, making it public and being specific about what you want to do. These may not be
Treat these goals as though you are growing yourself. Don’t just try to change yourself.
Don’t look back on your past self and think only negatively of old habits. Thinking “I am so bad with money” and then try to cut spending cold turkey. The moment that you feel like you splurged a little too much or bought something unnecessary, you will feel like you have failed and your bad habits will never change.
Instead, establish your resolutions as things that you would like to grow instead. Saying “This year I will lose weight” is like you’re saying that right now your body is unacceptable. Try “This year, I want to grow my strength from being able to lift x amount to being able to lift x amount” and then go to the gym and learn how to use free weights. Instead of having an arbitrary goal that doesn’t mean much to you other than focusing on something you dislike, now you have a goal to teach yourself something and develop new skills.
When it comes to goals that relate to internal growth, look at them through the same lense. By telling yourself that in the past you have been only negative things and not seeing anything positive in yourself, you are giving yourself a start from 0.
“I want to be more caring toward my friends” is a great goal to have for yourself going into the new year, but don’t think of it as starting from scratch. Figure out where you’re starting from.
Think instead about things that you did last year that made your friends feel cared for, maybe even by reaching out and asking them. Consider times when you may have gone against what your new goal is asking of you. Start to implement more of the things that made your friends feel good and that made you feel good and successful.
New year resolutions are not about starting over and starting from scratch. If you feel like you’re just trying to start from the ground and not with a solid foundation, you will feel discouraged when you can’t find a place to lift yourself from.
No more ‘new year, new you.’ This 2020 we’re focused on: new year, improved me.
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https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/01/health/keeping-new-years-resolutions-wellness/index.html
