Aliya Busbee, a Winthrop alumni who graduated with a bachelor’s in psychology and Darrin Davis, senior business administration major, have been together for over two years now and met through their mutual friend and Darrin’s former suitmate Jason.
“Jason met Aliya when he came to school,” Davis explained. “And we didn’t really get to know each other until about a year after we met.”
One of the strengths the couple possesses in their relationship is their willingness to communicate efficiently together.
“We don’t really make things complicated in the way we make decisions together.” Davis said. “We don’t harbor on every detail, we’re very straightforward and take every challenge as they come.”
While the couple are compatible in ways that are important for their relationship, they do agree that they are very different from one another.
“We are very different people, so it’s very much an opposites attract situation.” Busbee said. “We work well together like puzzle pieces, but we’re not very similar if that makes sense.”
Both parties discussed taking great joy in seeing one another in their element and seeing them become better individuals.
“I enjoy how when he likes something like you could see it all over his face. He’s smart and he really is a leader.” Busbee said.
“He holds everything down and does everything by himself. He cares and he’s passionate. He’s evolved in his style and in his activities outside of school and his push for his own career. I just enjoy seeing his drive.”
“I would say I enjoy how artistic she is. Prior to being with her, I wasn’t a very artistic person and since we’ve been together, I would say her artistic side has rubbed off on me.” Davis said.
“With spending so much time with her and seeing her when she was in school dancing, and seeing her think and how she draws I think it’s changed the way I think as a person and I really appreciate that.”
Since coming together, they’ve found ways in which they help balance each other out.
“She keeps track of the small things. I am a big picture person. Like the only time I’m not a big picture person is when I have to plan something.” Davis said. “But outside of that I am very much a, ‘this is what it is’ type of person. So a lot of times, she helps me remember smaller things that I have to do and keeps me from being overwhelmed or stressed.”
Busbee agreed, adding that she finds herself more at ease when she is with Davis. She credited him with helping her on her transition to living on her own after graduating.
“He helps me with my anxiety a lot, he makes me calm.” Busbee said. “Especially because this is my first time experiencing moving out of my home and paying my bills and being alone for the first time without any other support. So he is a big support when it comes to me getting scared of the real world. And he’s there to keep me grounded. So if I didn’t have him right now, I probably would be very, very, stressed.”
Prior to getting into a relationship Busbee admitted that she had a more romanticized version of what she thought a committed relationship would be like, but since being in a relationship she views romance through a more realistic lens.
“Before I had a very romanticized and fairytale view of love, like the Disney version of love, when I was younger I would plan my wedding and I would watch ‘Say Yes To the Dress’ every weekend.” Busbee said. “And this is the longest relationship I’ve been in so far. So I feel like of course love is there but there is more compromising and it’s not easy all the time. It’s like sometimes it’s business and sometimes it’s pleasure. Sometimes you’re angry and you have to show your face because you have things to do. So it’s not always the same. You have to keep a balance that and realize that everything’s not like sunshine and rainbows all the time.”
Davis agreed that the amount of compromise they have to do was not what he originally expected.
“It’s a lot more compromise than I originally thought. I want to do the things I want to do,but I understand that probably won’t always be the case.” Davis said. “Like if I just wanted to sit down and exist. Maybe she wants to go out, so we go do that. And then I come back and then relax. There’s a lot more compromise.”
Being in a long-term relationship takes work and both Davis and Busbee have been open to change to allow their relationship to flourish.
“Our relationship is different than it was in the beginning, and that’s not a bad thing.” Davis said. “We’ve been dating for over two years and if things were the same after two years then something’s wrong, right? Things will change in order to grow.”
Busbee agreed, saying that a relationship is an evolutionary process and she’s learned that it sometimes requires putting the other person first.
“It’s evolving, It’s learning something new about a person even after so long.” Busbee said “ It’s also being able to realize that the world revolves around us, other people matter and realizing that the other person might matter a little bit more than your own wants and needs at the moment. Also not everything is 50/50, sometimes it’s 80/20 or 40/60 it’s about that compromise.”
Some advice Busbee shared for new couples is to not rush things and live in the moment.
“Take your time to get to know each other as people before trying to like make it about the grand gestures or anything sexual.” Busbee said. “Just get to know the actual person, go sit outside of the bench at Tillman and talk, see what you have in common with that person.”
Davis encourages new couples to not put too much pressure on the beginning stages.
“Slow down, time is going to pass no matter what you do.” Davis said. “You don’t have to rush it, just take it day by day.”
