While going to college presents a myriad of new opportunities and a taste of the proverbial ‘real world,’ it also comes with its own challenges and struggles.
Last week, a panel of Winthrop University students spoke with their fellow students about the difficulties surrounding maintaining healthy relationships and advice on knowing when to leave a relationship.
David Mays, a senior, talked about how if someone tells you they are not ready for a relationship then you should believe them. He also spoke about the importance of not trying to “fix” another person.
Sophomore Camryn Grant-Hinton spoke at the event about the importance of communication.
Hinton talked about how communication plays a significant role in dating/relationships and said that establishing boundaries and expectations early on in a potential relationship helps to build a solid foundation. Hinton talked about how if someone really wants to pursue someone, they will, and “nothing” will stop them from doing so. Hinton said this to express that if someone is not being clear with you it is probably best to leave them alone because if they wanted to be understood, they would have been more transparent with their intentions.
Nia Anthony is a 2018 graduate from Winthrop who studied human psychology. Anthony talked about how issues and trauma from our childhoods could hinder us from becoming good partners as adults. Anthony emphasized the importance of communication and said without healthy communication people can get into “situationships” which is when one person is in love with the other and they do the activities that couples do without having a title on the relationship and no intentions of giving it a title.
Anthony said the event was important and that she enjoyed having a platform to have this conversation about sex and relationships, adding that she was happy that the panelists were comfortable talking about the topic of relationships.
“We see it everywhere, but it is so taboo we never get the chance to talk about it,” Anthony said.
William Gist, a sophomore, talked about the “talking stage.” The “talking stage” is when individuals pursue each other for an indistinct amount of time before they decide if they want to pursue a relationship or not. Opinions on the “talking stage” vary, but according to the panelists and student input, this stage can last anywhere from a week to a few months. Gist talked about how if expectations of another party are left unsaid and issues arise because of lack of communication that is where we can’t blame the other party. Gist expressed how being open and honest and expectations and intentions is very important.
Delmarie Wilson, a sophomore, shared the sentiments of many students at the event who believe dating on Winthrop’s campus is hard. Wilson said that “it can be hit-or-miss” depending on your presence on campus.
“If you start dating someone everyone will know and be in your business,” Wilson said. “If the relationship goes badly, you will see them on campus and it will be very awkward.”
Senior Kendall Graham talked about respect and insecurities and how insecurities can affect relationships. Graham said that mutual respect and boundaries within a relationship can stop miscommunications and certain fights from happening.
Kristen Ware, a junior, took away from the event that people and relationships are complicated. “Or at least people make them complicated,” Ware said.
Ware said that she wished people who really enjoy their time together would just be together “without all the extra-ness” that comes with ‘situationships and friends-with-benefits scenarios.
Photo: Ann Marie Juarez/ The Johnsonian
