You know the feeling: you can’t prepare enough for the week to come. Your grade in that one class has been falling behind, and you have a huge test coming up in a few days. The essay due next week has been on your mind for days, and don’t even get me started on that group project you have been putting off. All of the work that is stressing you out feels like it is piling onto you at once. So what do you do? Turn on Netflix of course!
I have been an overachiever all of my life: always getting straight A’s, working as much as I can, and trying to find as much time as I can for my friends and family. I always feel like I have to raise the bar or at least meet where I have set the level before. This has led to so many problems: low self-esteem, burnout, and perhaps worst of all: procrastination.
I am always afraid that I won’t meet up the expectations I have set for myself, or that I feel others have set for me. I stress myself out over small things, over everything. Because of this, I wait until the last minute to do everything. I know that I have things do, but I don’t want to work on them because I am afraid that I will not do well. Because of this, I put them off and put them off and then suddenly it is the night before and I have to cram to finish everything.
Logically, I know, this doesn’t make sense. I would do my best work if I was working on it slowly over time, letting myself revisit topics and actually learn material instead of memorizing it. Somehow, though, I haven’t been able to convince myself that is the case. I will write essays the night before they are due, or study for tests at the last possible second. I will stress myself out and have breakdowns over how stressed I am. This is not a healthy cycle.
Perfectionism and procrastination go hand in hand, and both are bad habits. I have been led, overtime, to believe that I have to be perfect, that I have to give 100 percent to everything that I do. But the problem with giving pieces of yourself to everything you do is that in the end, you will have nothing left. I learned this the hard way, and I am learning every day that I do not have to be perfect all the time.
I do not have to dress up all the time, I do not have to make straight A’s on every assignment I am given, I do not have to give 100 percent to every activity I am a part of. Some things do not require all of my attention or all of my energy. A simple homework assignment that is graded for completion is meant to test my knowledge and keep me in check; it does not require all of my effort. An essay due in two weeks will be a lot less stressful then if I start on it now. I continue to learn ways to keep myself in check, and I must admit that I am still working on getting rid of the parts of myself that tell me I am not enough.
Many people hear “overachiever” and have one of two reactions: they either think I am annoyingly or amazingly studious. To those who think I am annoying, that I work too hard all the time: you may be right. I wish to try my best at every task I am given, and that is not always a good thing. I don’t begrudge you for not doing the same. To those who think that I am amazing: take a good long look. You will see the dark circles under my eyes. While I work hard and do well, it all comes at a cost.
Perfection isn’t really something we need to reach for. We all need to find a balance between trying our best and keeping ourselves healthy. Our lives cannot be ruled by the standards we have made up in our heads.
