Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault
We grow up hearing our parents or our neighbors or people on the television talking about sexual assault. We hear them say things like “she was asking for it,” “she is ruining his life,” “you can’t be sexually assaulted by your girlfriend or boyfriend,” or “men can’t be sexually assaulted.” We come to be desensitized to these things. Some people even believe them as being true, as being valid. I grew up hearing these things said by my family, the shows they watched, the people that surrounded them.
Then one day, it happened to me—by my boyfriend at the time. I didn’t say no because I didn’t think I was allowed to. I didn’t report it because I didn’t know that I should. I can’t remember the date, but I remember the place. I can’t remember the time, but I remember the person. Not everyone can remember as much as I am able to, although some people can remember more. We live these memories over and over in our heads.
When it happened to me, I didn’t tell my best friend. I didn’t tell anyone until three years after it happened. To this day, I have only ever told one person.
Recently, I have watched the Brett Kavanaugh case and come to a full realization about the people around me. I have heard my family and my friends and even some of my teachers say things that made me wonder, what would they say if they knew it happened to me? How would they match up the awful things they have said about Christine Blasey Ford to what they know about me?
The moment you realize you aren’t safe is the moment it happens to one of your friends. The moment that you are forced to look at the ones you love in the same light as you have looked at those who have spoken out before them is when you must decide for yourself who you are going to believe, the accuser or the accused.
A close family member of mine told me about a Facebook post she saw from someone who backed Brett Kavanaugh’s confirmation. It included a remark about going back 40 years in the past of every member of congress to see who is left standing. It was meant to be a joke, but are we really at the point in our society where we can say that it is okay to have immoral and awful people serving in our supreme court? The people who are left standing should be the only people who are able to have a say in our government. Isn’t the point of electing officials to put our best and brightest at the forefront of the country?
If you call the sexual assault of Christine Blasey Ford a simple “mistake” by Kavanaugh, if you think that she is lying, that it wouldn’t matter if it was true, that because she didn’t tell her best friend at the time or she can’t remember the date that she is lying or mistaken, I want you to take a step back and think, what if it happened to you? What if it happened to someone you knew or you loved? How hard would you fight for them?
It doesn’t matter if she is someone’s mother, or someone’s sister, or someone’s daughter. What matters is that she is a human being. Shouldn’t that be enough for you?
The contributor of this article wishes to remain anonymous.
