Jay, my boyfriend, spent some time with me for a weekend before I moved back to college. We perused around Northwoods Mall in North Charleston, laughed together at some Twitch streams and he tried Chick-fil-A and Bojangles for the first time—he’s a Chicago resident. This was the second time we’ve met face-to-face in the eight years we’ve been dating.
I don’t know a lot of people who have long distance relationships, or LDRs, but I know I’m not the only student on Winthrop’s campus involved in one. [and removed] Trust me, it can get tough, so here’s my say on balancing your LDR with college life!
You’ve probably heard a million times that time management is the number one skill to succeed in college, but it’s also one of the most important things to master in a long distance relationship.
Chances are that you and your beloved are in different time zones. It’s a minor thing to keep in mind, but it makes all the difference when you actually communicate. Luckily, Jay is only an hour behind me. However, when I was studying abroad in Australia, it was a struggle. He would stay up until 5 a.m. to speak to me while I was settling into the evening around 6 or 7 p.m. If you’re in an international relationship, this becomes more prominent.
Realistically, you’ll struggle with time management a fair amount of times, especially when things come up, such as if one of you starts a new job or it’s midterms or finals week. Winthrop students tend to be involved in campus activities, so be conscious of your extracurricular activities and time commitments, as well. During my freshman year, I got involved in many extracurricular activities, including volunteering for seven hours a week, working at a job from 6 to 9 p.m. and attending cultural events often. Unfortunately, my relationship suffered because of it, and even though I was not aware of it, I did treat Jay as an afterthought.
If you’re a multitasker and can speak on the phone or Skype while you’re studying, that’s great! If you’re like me and struggle with that, just make sure to stick with your schedule as closely as possible so that you don’t cut into your time with them later on. Whatever the situation, make sure you communicate to your partner about meetings, study time, events, etc. and plan around that.
Planning when to communicate is important, but make sure it doesn’t turn into an obligation. It’s okay if you don’t get to speak with them that night. Depending on the relationship, some couples may prefer to speak everyday, even if it’s for only two hours or so, but missing a day or two out of the week won’t kill you both! Everyone gets busy; it doesn’t mean you don’t care.
Relationships in general are difficult to manage, and each one comes with its own challenges. However, if you can keep up with yourself and your partner’s schedule and keep the conversations organic, then the distance will never matter!